I grew up believing that I was an ‘accident’. Mum already had two kids who had left home before I arrived. Mum treated me like I was the best thing that had ever happened to her. I should have felt lucky being so loved but I just felt trapped and overwhelmed and the more caring she was the more I fought against her. I was angry that I had a granny for a mum and didn’t have a dad. I started using drugs when I was about 14. It wasn’t because I wanted to take drugs it was because I wanted to ‘fit in’.
It was when mum was in the hospice that I finally found out about my dad. He had died of a drug overdose when mum was in labour with me.
I guess I’m lucky that I had the time to make it up to mum and be the son she deserved before she died.